If you’d really like to come to the Retreat but you don’t think that your spouse would want to join you, consider these options:
- Ask. If you haven’t actually asked your spouse specifically about the Retreat, don’t assume you know how they would feel about it. Your spouse may actually surprise you. Even if they expressed their opinion about it a while ago, recognize that their feelings about it may have changed. Just ask.
- If your spouse said, “Maybe,” then ask what details they would need to make a more informed decision. Provide all the information that you have and give them a chance to review the sources for themselves. Also, share your feelings and explain why you would like to go.
- If your spouse said, “No,” then ask if they are willing to talk about why they feel that way. Engage a conversation, not a lecture. Listen and empathize with their feelings. Don’t try to argue why their position is wrong. Try to understand why they feel the way that they do. See if you can provide assurance that you want to help alleviate any insecure feelings in whatever way possible. What concessions can you offer to make the Retreat more appealing?
Be assertive with your own desires and explain how it would make you feel to be able to spend this special time with them. Avoid demanding or arguing.
In some cases, your spouse may remain resistant to your wishes. If so, don’t pout or withhold emotional and physical connection. This behavior only reinforces their decision. But, don’t be afraid to continue the conversation by softly and occasionally expressing your interest to attend next year.
We’d really love to spend this special weekend with you and your spouse. But, certainly we understand that not every spouse is ready for this experience. If we can help by providing more helpful details, please let us know. You can start at our website, click HERE.
